Remember to never go to bed mad at each other

A good relationship principle is: whenever one has a complaint about the other, a promise should be made. One person should promise to work on the issue while the other promises to be patient with them. 

  • Ex. I say fuck a lot when frustrated, I promise to try to cut back and she promises to be patient and supportive (however that person feels would be the best way to be supported)

Interdependence theory

  • three determinants of whether a relationship will succeed
    • level of satisfaction
      • compared against an average benchmark of what constitutes a normal satisfying relationship
    • level of dependence
    • level of investment

if both individuals are satisfied with the intimacy levels, then sex can make up 10% of the overall satisfaction of a relationship. if there is dissatisfaction with the sex life however, those problems can make up 70% of the problems

never get "into it" about an event that happened years ago. just recuse yourself, "that event was so long ago that I cant possibly say with accuracy what may or may not have happened"